One of the most prevalent role models and influences in a child’s life is his or her parent(s). Children look up to their parents, copy their parents, and even adopt many of their parent’s behaviors, views and beliefs. But to what degree does a parent’s sexual orientation influence their child? Questions have been raised about whether or not a child will develop normally in a family where the parent(s) are gay or lesbian. According to current research, no evidence has been found that a parent’s sexual orientation has any influence on a child’s development or sexual preferences later in life.
Research involving the welfare and development of children reared or raised by same sex-couples or single gay and lesbian parents first began primarily for legal purposes (Patterson, 241). Many cases were brought to court over custody and visitation rights, adoption rights, etc. and evidence was needed to show whether or not a child’s welfare was in question due to the parent’s sexual orientation. Adoption policies (though many have changed or are changing) have limited or restricted lesbian women and gay men from adopting children. It is a common assumption that children raised by lesbian or gay parents will grow up to be gay or lesbian. Many of the studies and research that have been done thus far have explored the idea that a parents sexual orientation may affect the outcome of their children’ sexual orientation, however in opposition to some current beliefs, research has not shown a relationship between a parent’s sexual orientation and a child’s sexual preferences later in life.
When discussing the gender development in these children, it is important to distinguish the difference between gender identity, gender behaviors, and sexual orientation. A person’s gender identity is what gender he or she identifies with (male or female). Gender behavior are the characteristics, actions, attitudes, etc. that are considered “appropriate” for a particular gender (i.e. girls play with Barbie dolls and boys play with trucks). These behaviors are often created by society and can vary from culture to culture. Lastly, sexual orientation is a person’s sexual preference towards men, women or both. Though all three of these categories are related to a person’s gender development, they do not always follow the same pattern and one does not predict the others.
In regards to a child’s sexual identity, there has been no evidence found thus far that indicates that a parent’s sexual orientation has any influence on confusing a child about their sexual identity. According to researchers William Meezan and Jonathan Rauch, their interpretation of the American Psychological Association’s study on children with gay or lesbian parents, is that “there is no evidence that children of lesbian and gay parents are confused about their gender identity, either in childhood or adulthood, or that they are more likely to be homosexual” (Meezan and Jonathan Rauch, 103). Another study, involving single lesbian mothers and single heterosexual mothers, had the children, mothers and children’s teachers fill out a questionnaire survey, and the results also indicated that the children with lesbian mothers were developing their gender identity without conflict or confusion and were equally in line with the children with heterosexual mothers ((Fitzgerald, 164).
Though the previous studies have shown no relationship between a parents sexual orientation and a child’s sexual identity development, some studies have indicated that there may be some differences about the sexual behaviors of a child reared or raised by a single lesbian, gay or same-sex couple parents. For example, a study through the American Psychological Association comparing the children of single heterosexual mothers to single lesbian mothers found that female children raised by lesbian mother(s) may show more “masculine” behaviors and attitudes than those with heterosexual mothers. And also that male child with lesbian mothers may have less aggressive behavior and fewer behavior issues (Meezan and Rauch, 103). Although these differences in sexual behavior have been found in some studies and research, the similarities in sexual behaviors between children with and without gay or lesbian parents are much more common and prevalent. A study discussed by Fitzgerald involved the toy preferences for children raised by lesbian mother and children raised by heterosexual mothers. The results of the study indicated that there were no differences in the toy preferences between the two groups and that more commonly than not the girls and boys in both groups preferred the toys that were associated with their gender.
As mentioned earlier, all the studies thus far have shown no relationship between a parent’s sexual orientation and their child’s sexual orientation. Children of gay or lesbian parents are no more likely to be gay or lesbian in adulthood than children with heterosexual parents. However, there are some interesting difference between the two groups of children in regards to their views and openness about sexuality. The first difference is that children with gay or lesbian parents are more likely to question and explore their own sexuality during their adolescent or young adult years. This is more common in females raised by gay or lesbian parents, but not uncommon in males. Though these children may experiment with their sexuality and their sexual orientation, during adulthood most will identify themselves as being heterosexual (Fitzgerald, 134). Another difference between the children reared/raised by gay or lesbian parents vs. children raised by heterosexual parents is that those raised by gay or lesbian parents tend to be more open-minded and accepting of other’s differences, especially in regards to sexuality. Children with gay or lesbian parents are more likely to have gay or lesbian friends and also be more open to discussing their own sexuality (Fitzgerald, 143).
While no research has shown a relationship between a parent’s sexual orientation and their children’s sexual development, there are definitely other struggles that these children go through, such as being teased or bullied in school. Though many people still disagree with the idea of gays and lesbians having children, it is definitely a reality that is becoming more and more common. The family structure has changed tremendously throughout history, and the newest of which is the family consisting of a single gay or lesbian parent or same-sex couples with children. This type of family will eventually become part of the norm in our society, and is well on its way to doing so. In the new TV series “The New Normal” one of the characters states that “family is family, and love is love”, and that is what creates normal development in children. <iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/nJfBZxUlzhY” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>
Bibliography:
- Fitzgerald, Bridget. “Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents: A Review of the Literature.” Marriage and Family Review 29 (1999): 57-75.
- Meezan, William, and Jonathan Rauch. “Gay Marriage, Same-Sex Parenting, and America’s Children.” The Future of Children 2nd ser. 15 (2005): 97-115. Jstor. Princeton University. Web. 18 July 2012. <http://www.jstore.org/stable/3556565>.
- “The New Normal – Trailer.” YouTube. YouTube, 13 June 2012. Web. 4 Aug. 2012. <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJfBZxUlzhY>.
- Patterson, Charlotte J. “Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents”. Current Directions in Psychological Science. 15 (2006): 241-243.
- United States. The Children’s Bureau Administration for Children and Families. Deparement of Health and Human Services. Gay and Lesbian Adoptive Parents: Resources for Professionals and Parents. Washington, DC: n.p., 2000. NAIC. National Adoption Information Clearinghouse. Web. <http://naic.acf.hhs.gov>.
